don't call me lady (just call me jess)

Oh where do I start?

I like nicknames.

I love terms of endearment.

I like my name (even though I have to spell it all the time).

But I hate no names.

You know, the names that are so generic, so impersonal they mean nothing.

So in no particular order here are the worst:

1. Lady
I just can't begin to describe how much this grates. I am not a prissy cartoon character dog. I am not aristocracy. I am not a someone ins a shop being referred to in the third person. I am not your lady.

2. Girlfriend
Yeah, annoying in that drunk, bar, girls complementing girls in a snide way. As in when I was wearing a Priscilla Presley beehive at Deville's some girl came up and said, "Nice hair... Girlfriend." In return, I wanted to say, "Nice braces, metalmouth." But I refrained.

3. Girlie
Ok, so only my grandfather calls me this. But he also calls all his daughters and grandaughters the same thing. I can't remember the last time he said, "Hello Jess" instead of "Hello girlie".

4. Friend
I never understood the "Hey, friend" phenomenon. It reeks of bulk email/text message dressed up to sound personal. And hey, if you were my friend, you'd use my freakin' name!

So please, please, please. Just call me Jess. Really.