tired

I'm just tired.

I don't think it's quite a physical fatigue. It's a life fatigue.

I'm tired of being sad, I'm tired of being the crying girl, the lonely girl, the upset girl.

The girl who did nothing to deserve this, yet here she is.

The girl without her home, her best friend, her soulmate.

The girl who feels as though she's lost everything, yet feels the immense pressure to be the strong one, the mature one, the adult.

I am tired of tea and sympathy, coffee and sympathy, wine and sympathy. I am tired of cliches too easily trotted out and carelessly thought of.

I am tired of feeling bad, tired of explaining that I'm feeling bad.

I'm tired of being pulled close only to be thrust away when it's too inconvenient or too uncomfortable.

I can't bear the sheer helplessness my situation presents me with. All I can do is pray and cry and pray some more.

I just want to feel the comfort and security within my home once more. I want to be enveloped in, wrapped up in and immersed in my home. Just that one essential thing, denied.