bittersweet

My parents are a day away from Orange and I want to scream.

The realisation had dawned on me that in potentially less than a week, my life will look nothing like the life that I'm leading now.

Where I once had a job, I will no longer have one. Where I once lived in a nice place, the new alternative is not so sure.

Everything is changing and I'm so afraid my life is going in a retrograde motion - going backwards instead of forwards.

I could return to Perth and mistakenly think I've gone back to 2006 rather than forwards to 2009.

I'm meant to be sending messages to my friends telling them about my going-away party on Monday and I don't want to.

I'm meant to be packing up the rest of my room into neat little boxes and I don't have the heart to pack up this chapter of my life.

I want to be certain that I'm moving forward into something good, not something stagnant.

But I'm a fool for even contemplating that anything can be certain.