dear new south welshpeople...

Hi! My name is Jess and in just a few short days, I will be joining your ranks as a new resident of your state. I come from a wee little town a long way away called Perth. I'm not sure if you're aware of it, after all, Sydney is the centre of the universe (although Melbourne would like to think that they are).

Here are some handy things you should know before my arrival:

1. In Perth, when we go to the pub, we ask for a pint or a middie. I hear you crazy kids have a strange medium called a schooner. Perhaps this is because:
a) you are too cadbury to drink half a litre of beer at a time;
b) you named the glass a schooner in the hope of making funny puns like 'schooner diving'; or
c) you want to confuse West Australians.

2. In WA, we are fanatic about AFL. We like to call it football This means that:
a) When I say football, I mean football , not rubgy.
b) I will talk about the Eagles and mean the West Coast Eagles, not the Manly Sea Eagles.
c) I will always say a good game is a fast game, and that's why football is better than rugby everytime.
d) I have no idea what the difference between Union and League is.

3. I'm used to sunsets over the beach and the ocean being Indian. Considering, I will be living in an inland city, it won't really bother me.

4. Because I'm from WA, I will bring with me a strange habit of abbraviating names and adding 'o' to the end of it. Such examples are:
a) Freo
b) Rotto
c) Busso
d) Gero

Please enjoy this cultural lesson and remember, be alert, but not alarmed - I only come from the other side of the country.

love,

Jess.