stuck! you'll never escape!

This was the title I was going to use when I was having an emo moment yesterday or the day before... I can't remember what day anymore. That's kind of irrelevant.

I'm not so emo anymore (me?! Emo?! Never!), but the title's still apt, so I'm sticking with it. Why am I in the second paragraph and still trying to justify the title? Better yet, why am I still trying to justify the title, when I haven't explained the meaning of the title. I'll break it down for you. First literal meaning, then whatever meaning comes after that.

Literal Meaning:
Adam plays a game with his littlest brother, Daniel where he grabs his arm and says, "You're stuck!" The aim is to try and escape without Adam noticing, because if he notices, his grip gets stronger and you're back to square one. Every time you try and squirm your way out of it, there's the inevitable cry of, "You'll never escape!" So that's the literal meaning over and done with.

Whatever other meaning is meant to come after that
The last however long has seemed like one long, tired, sick and emotional blur of assignments, work, job applications and glandular fever. And it feels like I'll never escape. So assigments and glandular fever are gone. But there's non-stop work in retail and job applications. Most of those job applications are greeted with the reply of:
"Dear Jessamy,
Thankyou for your application. We reget to inform you that..."
And that's the bit where I stop reading because inevitably it means: "Dear Jess, You suck."

And your ego bruises a little more each time you get told that you suck.

And it drives me insane to see everyone else around me becoming successful (super successful if you're Adam) and me being left behind to stew in the prospect of months of retail slavery and more unpaid work in an industry that doesn't tell you what you need to do to get a paid job. I'm getting sick of jumping through hoops for something that may not pay off. I'm sick of being someone's slave labour or being the student stuck in the corner. I have skills up to my eyeballs and no-one's willing to recognise that and give me a go.

So pretty much I'm stuck in this cycle of job applications closely followed by rejections and it honestly seems like I'll never escape. I've never been one for low self-esteem, but this is bordering close to the low self-esteem that I should have experienced somewhere in my early teens.

But now I've gotten that all out, I'm sure I'll find something to do and get excited about it. But just in case, anyone want to hire a presenter/producer/journalist? I can do broadcast, online or print. And bloody hell, if that isn't good enough for you, at least help me pay off my HECS debt, because working full-time in retail doesn't quite earn enough to pay back Johnny for all of the skills I've learnt in the past three years.

I swear I'm not emo.