confuzzled

I should be ecstatic. Opportunity's a knockin' at my door, all I need to do is answer the door.

Yet part of me doesn't want to. Part of me wonders what the hell I was doing, what the hell I was thinking, getting into the whole thing in the first place. I've almost convinced myself that I'm not the right kind of person to be even studying what I'm studying, planning what I'm planning. Part of me desperately wants to run in the opposite direction, do something that doesn't threaten me and excite me at the same time.

I don't get it.