Dearest, darling, gorgeous boyfriend of mine,
I love you lots and lots and lots and lots. You're my bestest good friend, my soulmate, amongst other things. Life would never be the same without you. You're totally understanding, very switched on and let's face it, you're damned attractive. And I like it all. You know all that.
But please, stop leaving your sunnies at my place! I currently have the majority of your pairs of sunglasses sitting pretty in my bedroom.
The fact that your sunnies are in my house is stark, blatant reminder that I have a midget face that makes sunglasses look plain stoopid on me. So please, think of me and for goodness sake, take your sunnies home with you!
Lots and lots and lots of love,
Jessp
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