like, shut up!

Once upon a time, not so long ago, I was a teenager. Techinally, I'm going out with a teenager. Teenagers are cool. I don't mind them. But I hate the way they talk.

As in really hate the way they talk.

Exhibit A:
I was on my lunch break at work yesterday, feeling really, really ridiculously crook. I went to the toilet as one does to urinate, defecate, etc. Unfortunately shopping centres seem to be teenager magnets. There were two fourteen year olds in the bathroom. They were talking, that's fine. People are allowed to talk. In fact, I encourage talking. But when teenagers talk they have to turn, "I think her phone is better than mine because it's newer," into "Like, my phone is, like really, like bad because, like Madison has one like which is so like better and like it's purple!" Then I get shirty. Teenage girls waste so much oxygen by exercising their compulsion to say the word 'like' at least ten times in a sentence. Friends, don't go pointing the finger at what everyone tells you is killing the environment. We all know that the real killers here are teenage girls. Deforestation has got nothing on these oxygen munchers. I just wanted to say, 'For goodness sake, extend your vocabulary! The 'like' thing is, like, so twenty years ago.'

more exhibits to follow.