braindumping

Two years ago today I started on an epic journey called The Braindump Book. Call it a journal, call it private ranting and venting, call it technologically defunct blogging, I don't know. It was a way to maintain my sanity. The 20th of September 2003 was about a month and a smidge before I did TEE at Canning College. Although I look back at that year with a lot of fondness (tee hee, last night's game of Scrabble - Jess makes the word 'fond'. Adam says, 'Fond? What's fond?'. Jess - 'As in 'I am very fond of you.' Adam -'Awwwwwww'). But the Braindump Book tells a rather different story. September two years ago was full of tests, exams, uncertainty about the future, stir-craziness, friends taking drugs or drinking themselves stupid and the star of this book was being taken advantage of by a big bad manboy who sould have known better.

Two years and almost eleven Braindump Books later, life is vastly different. I would say that life is much better. I survived exams, took a few wrong turns but eventually found excatly what I wanted to do. My friends have both given up drugs and drinking. I'm still stir crazy, but I have an amazing guy by my side who understands me and loves me unconditionally. I have parents who have done the best job ever. And my friends are the best I could ever ask for.

Is my life more stable? Put simply, no. There's always fears about getting a job, where I'll end up, how everyone else is going and stuff like that. There are immediate challenges, hurdles and unexpected surprises that totally blindside you. But if anyone had told me two years ago the miracles that have happened and how blessed I would be, I would be slightly skeptical. I look ahead to the next two years and say, 'Yes, things may appear to be tough and difficult now, but we're not alone by any stretch of the imagination. Everything's going to be ok' Everything happens for a reason and unfortunately we can't flick ahead to the last page of the novel of our lives to see how it all ends - it would wreck the story.

Although it's the past, the Braindump Book gives me hope for the future. My world will be safe, your world will be safe, our world will be safe. Just you wait and see, we'll all be blessed.